Corrie ten Boom. I opened my eyes. It was morning, and my waking thoughts were of one of my personal heroes in the faith—Corrie ten Boom. As my mind scrolled through her powerful testimony of faith and resilience in the face of unimaginable circumstances that no one should ever have to endure, it paused on one particular scene from her book, The Hiding Place.

It was toward the end of the book, after she had finished sharing her harrowing story from the camps where she suffered day after day after day, the same camps that claimed the lives of both her father and her older sister. At this point in her life, God had already raised her up on a global scale and was using her as a powerful voice advocating for trauma recovery and forgiveness.

Admittedly, I don’t have the book in front of me as I write this, so I’m going to go from memory; please forgive me if I get details wrong.

Corrie had just finished speaking to a group of people, and one man approached her from the audience. Inside, she froze. She knew who he was. And he knew who she was. He had something to say.

He had been one of the guards assigned to her camp and specifically had “taken care of” her and her sister. By that, I mean, abused. Now, he came to tell Corrie that he realized how deceived he had been and how wrongfully he had treated them and the other prisoners. He went on to say that through Corrie’s testimony, he had become a Christian and now asked for Corrie’s forgiveness.

Corrie had a decision to make. It took a moment or two as she wrestled with what I can only imagine to be deep and long-buried emotions of injustice, anger, and grief. But eventually she did it. She extended her hand and said, “I forgive you.”

The great release she experienced she described as indescribable because even though she had built a ministry on the platforms of trauma recovery and forgiveness, her heart was still carrying a deep and long-buried burden. She didn’t even necessarily know, but God did. And God knew exactly how to uncover it and uproot it. He knew the right time too. That’s how AMAZING, LOVING, FAITHFUL, and GRACIOUS God is!

And this particular morning, this scene filled my thoughts. This scene filled my thoughts as I chatted with my husband and made plans to go to the gym. It filled my thoughts as I got my workout gear on and hopped in the car. It filled my thoughts as I did my warm up on the elliptical machine and headed over to the weights. That’s when my husband made a statement that seemed so insignificant except…

Except Corrie’s story, THIS story from Corrie’s life had filled my thoughts from the moment before my eyes opened that morning. It had seemed random until it wasn’t. Because my husband’s statement was…

“Oh, wow. Look, So-and-so (his former boss) is over there on the bike.”

So-and-so. The boss who had “laid off” my husband after he had returned to work full-time following a car accident that had required months of recovery (and time off work to do so), yet opened up the exact same position shortly thereafter. It was because of this that I had lost the ability to stay mostly home with my girls and had returned to work full-time, losing many precious hours with those who hold important parts of my heart. It was because of this that as a healthcare worker, I had to experience many difficult challenges of working during the Covid shutdown on a full-time, instead of a very part-time, basis. It was because of all of this that we were put in a very difficult financial situation. It was because of all of this that I still have the very delicate juggling act of homeschooling AND full-time work AND ministry.

Now, hear me, I am NOT going to begin to compare what I experienced with what Corrie did. Obviously, the trauma and loss and grief and injustice she suffered is FAR GREATER than anything I ever have, but what I am saying is this…

God used her testimony to prepare my heart that day. Because I’m going to be honest, it took a moment. As I peered through the steel frames of the weighted pulley systems to this man I had never met who was sweating it out on a bike on the other side of the gym, I realized that there was still a trapped burden in my heart. I drew from the strength and grace in Corrie’s testimony, and refused to get trapped in feelings of injustice and anger. Because of this, I was able to recognize that Wow, there’s still a little something there, and release it. I was able to stand there, look directly at the person, and RELEASE IT for good. And guess what happened next?

I REJOICED! I rejoiced in the goodness and faithfulness of my God Who loves me SO MUCH that He knew there was a trapped burden hidden in my heart. I didn’t know, but God did. He knew exactly how to help me see it and uproot it. I didn’t know, but God did. He knew exactly how to prepare me to walk in His grace, strength, and forgiveness. I didn’t know, but God did. He knew exactly how to set me free. I didn’t know, but God did.

As I rejoiced, all I could see was the hand of God even in what seemed like a no-good, full-of-injustice situation. Why? Because…

It was because of all of this that my husband’s schedule opened (WIDE) to pursue a dream he had had in his heart for about a decade. It was because of all of this that we have seen the miraculous provision of God in big and small ways over and over and over again which has grown our faith immensely. It was because of all of this that the relationships in our home have deepened and grown richer. It was because of all of this that I have had to press more deeply in to the voice of God to know exactly what I’m supposed to do when and how (including resting and being intentionally present with my family) because I need to make every moment count. It was because of all of this that I have learned how to truly use my time effectively and also savor life. It was because of all of this that we have grown in character and vision. It was because of all of this we have a greater understanding and experiential knowledge of the goodness and faithfulness of God. It was because of all of this I can say, “I didn’t know, but God did,” and REJOICE!