How many times have we asked ourselves Who am I? And how many times have we been asked What do you do for a living? Or conversely, What are you studying or planning to be? 

From the introspective wanderings of our souls, searching for answers to some of the deepest, most personal and life–defining questions to common chit chat amongst new acquaintances, answering those fundamental questions of Who am I and what am I doing here? seem to come around more often than a kid taking a ride on a merry-go-round. 

It’s such a heavy-hitting core question that resonates with every fiber of our beings. It can set the trajectory of our lives or, if left unanswered, can put us at risk for wallowing in the deepest miry mucks of depression. And how many times do we allow ourselves to answer the soul-deep question Who am I with the chit chat answer of What do you do?  

Is that all we are? The sum of the things we do? Can I, for example, be defined by the title printed next to my (not very good) headshot I wear around my neck at my day job? Or am I defined by roles less financially driven? Like, say, wife and mother, daughter and sister? Is that who I am?  

Let’s take a look at the first question: Am I defined by what I do? How many times have we all done this? It’s oh, so easy to do! We spend years of our lives learning and training and then doing whatever it is we earn a living from. It’s what enables us to have the basic needs of shelter, food, and clothing met. It’s also very easy to answer. But…the verbs are different! AM (to be) I defined by what I DO (to do)? How can this be the answer? Easy? Sure. Correct. Definitely not.  

Let’s take a look at the second question: Am I defined by a role I fulfill on this planet? Well…there’s a huge problem with that too. Do other people define me? What if the unthinkable happens and I lose that person that defined me? Does that fundamentally alter who I am? Oh, the impact is real. We are certainly shaped and impacted forever by those closest to us, but are we defined by them? No. So, if we aren’t defined by what we do or by any role relative to another person here on this planet, how are we defined? 

God defines us. It’s as simple as that. Our Father, the One Who created us and Who knows the end from the beginning defines us. He is unchanging and perfect and perfectly good in all His ways, INCLUDING how He defines us. And how does He define us? As daughter. As son. That’s it. Before we have a role here on this planet, before we do any job here on this planet, the answer to our deepest life-determining question is: Daughter (or son).  

It is from THIS we have and do. THIS unchanging, unalterable, unbroken definition. We don’t manufacture it, and we can’t change it. We don’t listen to what anyone else says about us or to the culture around us, we look to One for the answer and build from there. And the best place to really truly discover this identity for ourselves so this truth is more than just black and white print on our screens? You got it. The wilderness.  

The wilderness is a place where we are stripped of roles and doings. It’s a place where we learn through dependency and intimacy in the otherwise barren places in our lives that God really is enough, He is our source, and the only unshakable foundation we can build our lives on. Why? Because it’s a place that everything else we have identified with and built our lives on is shaken or taken. It may not feel good, but as God slowly, methodically detangles and removes all the things our human inclinations want to cling to, we experience for the first time what it means to stand completely free, whole and unbroken.  

Is there a crushing? Yes. A wrenching in the removal? Absolutely. The wilderness takes us to the brink, where we live through the dying-to-self process. Our “selves” don’t like to die, they can put up a pretty good fight, but the wilderness that God takes us through is perfectly and uniquely suited to “deal with” each one of our “selves” so we can experience LIFE, an amazing existence not possible otherwise.