In the last few posts, I shared and spent time processing an extraordinary supernatural experience that was directly related to the destructive power of offense. I cannot emphasize this enough: offense HAS to go. We simply cannot afford to posture ourselves in offense and create filters of offense, filters that warp and color our experiences and interactions with others. We can’t keep feeding the dragon. Side note: Releasing offense is a COMPLETELY separate issue from rebuilding trust, reconciliation, and accountability. Yes, these are difficult to parse and at times may feel like there’s some hair splitting going on, but ultimately, releasing offenses is its own issue.

In my own experience in life, when people acted like…well…people with very real human frailties, my mooshy heart got hurt in a hurry. This often led to cycles of hurt-anger-forgiveness-oh, yes, I remember how So-and-so acted-hurt-anger-forgiveness-(I’m sure you get the picture and many of you reading this have probably lived it as well). The struggle against this cycle is REAL and can feel never-ending; I’ve called it “layers of forgiveness” in the past. However, my recent experience with that inferno of hate blown over my cheek drastically altered my perspective. The realization that that thing FEEDS on our offenses made me realize that maybe…just maybe…it isn’t always a “layers of forgiveness” process but is instead dragon bait that human frailties are all too eager to embrace.

Oh, I so desperately wanted to find an answer! The last thing I wanted was to slip into the dragon bait trap. So, I went to where I always find answers—the Lord. I want you to bless, but don’t do it to get a boomerang benefit back to you, bless simply because it blesses Me when you bless others.

BOOM! It hit hard. And the freedom was DELICIOUS! Of course! Doesn’t it say in Romans 12:14 “Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not?” And in Luke 6:27-28 Jesus says, “But I say unto you which hear, love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you” (KJV).

Jesus didn’t say to bless them to create a heart change in them. Jesus didn’t say to bless them to try to make them more favorable toward us or behave better toward us. THAT would be manipulation. He didn’t say to bless and look for the boomerang, He simply said to bless. Do good. Pray. So, that’s what I did. I stood firm in blessing. When around that person, I smiled and offered to help if appropriate for the circumstance, I gave compliments, and I prayed for this person. What a difference! And (bonus!) in the process, I learned the secret to living dragon bait free AND to prevent wounding to my mooshy heart. It isn’t to START with forgiveness. The secret is to start with BLESSING the offender as a way to bless the Lord and forgiveness for the offense becomes the byproduct. No more struggling in hurt-anger-forgiveness cycles. No more slips into dragon bait territory. Just wonderful, powerful freedom in Christ!

Please note: When choosing to bless an offender, it is TOTALLY OK to bless from behind a safe boundary. Perhaps the only way you can safely bless a certain person is by praying for them to have greater measures of revelation from God’s heart and deeper workings of His love in his or her life. That’s absolutely FINE! It’s still blessing and doesn’t risk your personal safety.