Never Expected This

Never did I ever think THIS would happen. If you’ve thought that, you’re not alone. Definitely not. Life has a way of throwing curve balls, splitters, and all-out fouls. And by foul, I don’t mean the kind of throw that gets you a free pass to first base. I mean, F-O-U-L. Unexpected. Shocking. Gut-wrenching.  

Maybe this has never happened to you—GREAT! I encourage you to keep reading because…well…maybe that foul play just hasn’t happened yet, or maybe you can encourage someone who is in the middle of it. Because the truth is, it happens, and life can go from a bowl of berries with cream on top to a heap of ashes in seconds. Literally. 

Grief is one of those emotions that no one ever wants to feel. Feeling like your insides are being twisted around and yanked out just isn’t pleasant. Then the tears just never stop coming. They don’t care if you have to go to work and look like  you have it all together. They just don’t. They’ll just roll down your face whether it’s an appropriate time or not. Grief is a big emotion that reaches down into the very deepest parts of us and hits. Hard. 

But let’s think about it for a second. Grief is really just an expression of love. If I didn’t love, then I wouldn’t grieve. It may not be the warm fuzzy kind of love experience, but it’s love just the same. That’s why it hits us so deeply and so hard. It’s a loss of that which makes life truly precious and wonderful—whether it be our dreams or our deep, genuine connections with others.  

But does grief mean that hope is lost? It can certainly feel that way! The sadness spiral is real and slipping into hopelessness can—and DOES—happen to some. But grief, as big as it may be, is NOT hopelessness. It IS possible to feel all the awful feelings AND hold (cling!) onto hope.  

Recently our family went through an unimaginable situation. It was lifestopping. Gutwrenching. Hopelessness whispered constantly. Just being real, I wasn’t sure how to even begin to get to the other side. Life had seemed so sure…until it wasn’t.  

The words of one person—a podcast guest actually—kept cycling around the whispers of hopelessness You can grieve. Grief does NOT mean you don’t have faith. It was simple. And a lifeline. Those simple words were permission and empowerment. I COULD grieve and I COULD ALSO have faith and hope that God can do something powerful and amazing. The two were not mutually exclusive.  

It is quite an interesting tension. Grief and hope. Some days the grief side of that delicate balance made hope seem impossible. Then I read this verse:  

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so  that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

That was it! It wasn’t MY ability to hold onto hope! The secret was the power of the HOLY SPIRIT. Of course! I didn’t need to have the answers. I didn’t even need to have the strength. God has the power and ability to flood my spirit with HIS hope. Notice, I said HIS hope, not mine. My hope during this time was more akin to a smoky candlewick than a roaring flame. But that’s ok. God CAN! God can cover my weakness with His strength and my hope with His. All I had to do was TRUST that He’s got this too.  

So, whether it’s you or someone you know going through the unimaginable. Know this: Grief is OK! Grief is simply an expression of love. It’s OK to grieve! But as we grieve, HOPE—God’s hope—is ALWAYS there. Steadfast, unchanging, and powerful. We don’t have to have the strength to hope. It isn’t something we create and stir up within ourselves, it’s something God FLOODS us with when we TRUST Him. Will we still feel the loss? (Are we human?) Of course! But can we ALSO trust God and process in His power? YES!