KINDNESS: ALTRUISTIC? SELFISH? OR SELF-PERPETUATING?
Every week I run a group in VRChat called LifeTalks. We talk about…well…life. Recently, I ran one talking about helping others and acts of kindness. As expected, the subject of the boomerang benefit came up. You know, the age-old argument Is kindness REALLY altriustic? Or are we only kind because we get a feel–good feeling when we are? Can we REALLY separate that from our motives? That’s when it hit me…
God is our Creator, so He KNOWS that we are going to get that boomerang benefit. There’s really no way around it, He hard-wired us to get that warm, fuzzy, feel-good feeling, that inner reward that makes us go, “Yeah, I’m really glad I did XXX,” even if there is literally no other reason to feel that way. And that got me thinking….
God MADE us this way. He 100% purposefully, intentionally, CREATED us to have an inner reward for helping others and being kind to others. In other words, God hard-wired us to get a reward that is NOT conditional on the other person’s response or the circumstance. It is 100% thanks to I did something nice for someone else. If anything, any other boomerang benefit (like getting paid or a gift in return) actually DIMINISHES the inner reward which means God CREATED us to have the deepest, biggest fulfillment for being kind from just…being kind. So what if…
God hard-wired us to have fulfillment and inner rewards from being kind because
He knew kindness was the best way to live for our own sakes?
He knew kindness was the best way to live for others’ sakes?
He knew kindness promotes connection between people and groups?
Kindness gains power the more its used, and built in a self-perpetuating reinforcement to ensure we would stay kind?
He wanted us to be more like Him? Giving with no expectation of return from the other person and choosing others over ourselves?
What if God hard-wired us for these reasons and SO the boomerang benefit of kindness ISN’T an issue of selfishness (are we kind because we are actually being selfish because we want that feel-good feeling) but an issue of self-perpetuation? What if God MADE us to KEEP THE KINDNESS GOING because He knew that we are human beings with human shortcomings and human frailties but that kindness is the simple, everyday powerhouse that helps us all overcome?